Victory Yakima Twilight IIPA

Off the bat, i almost avoided this beer because I have a natural aversion to the word “Twilight” now. As well you can understand.

Im not a 15 year old girl that cuts.

I am, however, a 35 year old man that likes a good, heavy strong IPA. And if its Imperial, thats even better.

We were in San Diego, and we checked out one of the local beer-happy bars, Hamilton’s Tavern, as they boasted a pretty good selection of beers, and according to the locals, never really got over run with the striped shirts.

I first ordered the Victory Yakima Twilight, as i wanted my tasties to experience the stronger flavors before the 9% ABV killed off my tongue. The hoppiness, caramel smells and strong honiness really kicked in….i was just a teeny disappointed in the tail end of the taste, as it didnt quite pack the punch an IIPA should.

It was however, enjoyable enough to drink TWICE. This isnt a beer id use as a model for an IIPA, but as an IPA, its pretty goddamn good.

My score – 89 out of 100 stars.

Session – Lager and Black Lager

My dad, who is a master glazier (glassman in lay terms) taught me that, while not always necessary, it is pretty effective to “get stoned with two birds” er….something….

Session, to me, is a great boutiquey beer put out by the Full Sail Brewing company, and uses the stubby barrel bottles. For both the red and black versions. Lets knock them down one at a time.

Sessions original lager has always been a good picnicking beer for me…easily portable, full bodied, but refreshing enough to not be a heavy beer. Im always happy that the little 11oz lager fits in my Kreuz BBQ coozie from my trip to Austin. Im a huge fan of the “red” label lager, and find its balance to be near perfect.

The black on the other hand, comes in hitting heavy, as it is exactly what youd imagine it is to be. Black lager denotes dark. Its dark, its heavy, it doesnt fuck around. It doesnt taste boozey at all, but its intense flavor comes rife with nuts, bread, and has a really autumnal flavor…so perfect for this October chugging. Unlike its red brother, i can barely get through 3 or 4 before my stomach feels like i ate a loaf of bread. There are complexities to the tastes that the red doesnt have, like a strong honey flavor and a deep malt that is as refreshing as oatmeal.

Like two siblings, each os special in their own way. (But i like the red better).

My Scores:

Original Lager – 91 points

Black Lager – 88 points

Simpler Times Lager

Ahh Trader Joes….

I spend so much money there saving money…..make sense?

I go to TJ’s once a week and do a decent amount of food shopping on some basic stuff….i dig the frozen fish, their peanut butter, English Muffin bread, and well…their booze. I partake quite a bit in the Two Buck Chuck, (Charles Shaw wine, stay tuned for the review), as well as the devlishly perfect-for-the-price, $2.99 a sixer, Simpler Times Lager….

Clocking in at a pretty hefty 6.2% alkies, this beer is more than worth the low ass $3 splurge. And, it doesnt taste too shabby!

Its like George Foreman. It is what it is. A haymaker, a jab, a block. No mystery, no backstories. Its. Just. Beer.

Initially, you get the flavor of sweet corn with the wash of a….how do i say…..QUALITY Pabst Blue Ribbon. Imagine if Pabst Blue Ribbon received a Blue Ribbon in  taste….add a little salt, a little depth, and some sweetness to round its bitterness, and boom….youre in some Simpler Times.

Now keep in mind, it isnt genius taste-ification on the palate here.Its a 50 cent can of beer that doesnt fuck around. That’s it. It’s a brawler, it’s a cowboy, it’s an outlaw. It’s a kick in your balls by a drunken karate chimp….It’s some mutha fuggin Simpler Times.

I dare say that eventhough this is a seriously cheap, and nasty beer to some, its still hipster enough to bring to a BBQ or house party and people will be like….”Sweet….you brought some of The Times.”

This beer will be cool ONLY until the moment bartenders with whitebelts named Tyler are selling it for $3 EACH in the Mission. Until then, dear readers…..partake in some of the Simpler Times.

My score is 83 out of 100 points.

Budweiser Chelada

We all do dumb shit.

Some people drink Budweiser….some people drink Clamato. Some people add Clamato to Budweiser. And THAT insane, schizophrenic combination is actually manufactured and SOLD as a tall boy.

I took one sip and wanted to puke everything ive ever ingested in my, yours and my Aunt Ruth’s life.

This “beer” is completely unnecessary and wrong on every level possibly ever invented. There are suffering, depressed, broken alcoholics that would refuse this. And dont even get me started on its skinny cousin, Bud Light Chelada.

Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with people….it is bullshit like this that makes me lose faith in everything.

If you see this shit walking the streets…kill it with fire.

My score – 12 out of 100…..i have to give it credit for having the balls for thinking two wrongs make a right.

Rogue Dead Guy Ale Growler

As some of you have seen, i reviewed the Double Dead Guy Ale, which was gorgeous in the packaging alone…

For whatever reason, with beer packaging, i think that bigger IS better.

The 64oz growler they put their Dead Guy in, tastes far better in this form than in draught or singe 16oz bottles. I sit here on my 4th pint, toward the end of the growler and im still enamoured by how fresh and hefty the flavor is….

I like to think of Dead Guy like this….a piece of fresh baked bread, a thick, dense heavy bread, dipped in a super tart applesauce. Ive described it like this before, and alot of people will agree.

The best part, if im not mistaken, is that i can take said growler to the Rogue Ale House in North Beach, SF, and have it refilled. True, its only about $13 at BevMo, but man…just to say you got a beer refilled at a brewery….that is some shit youll ONLY see at Rogue or Speakeasy.

This is also the first strong, hoppy ale i ever got in CA….so it holds a special place.

Show up at the Orange Gallery, and im sure youll find yourself having a pint with me.

My score, 94 out of 100 points.

He’brew Genesis Ale

 

L’chaim!

 

I need to kvetch just a little…

 

I had one of these for the first time about two years ago, but i was shithoused, so i dont remember the taste.

 

Fast forward to today, and i can see why.

 

The taste is not at all memorable, but everything else is.

 

It, like its body and color, is a very relaxed smooth beer that is not as hoppy as it should be for a pale ale….i expected a little more pop off pof the end note, but it left me hanging…

 

I felt pilsnered.

 

At any rate, its still a refreshing swig, and i will most likely continue to drink this beer on a summer day.

 

Now feel free to kibbutz about it.

 

My score – 71 out of 100.

Budweiser American Ale

I know what youre thinking. And sometimes your first instincts are dead on.

Such was the case here.

Now look, i can appreciate when you have some HUGE company try and go all “boutiquey” and all “artisan”….but come on….what can you possibly do? Youre fucking Budweiser…..

You come off as ridiculous as Starbucks using their Clover machine……please. Just stop.

I can see this very BLAND ale marketed to compete with something of the calibur of a Sam Adams, a Full Sail….something better than bud…but worse than Sierra Nevada. No?

I mean, the pros are this….its EASY to drink for a heavier ale, and the color is a beautiful copper. It definitely makes Budweiser look good….but fuck man…

I mean….the best way I can describe the taste, is if you added Mrs Dash to a regular old, unfortunate Budweiser…..sad to say.

I think if i had the choice between this and regular Bud….man…..id be reaching for the flask of Jameson.

This beer might be good for a BBQ…..but seriously….this is like putting a bowtie on an ugly kid.

My score – 64 out of 100.

Rogue Double Dead Guy Ale

This was something….

I wasnt sure what to expect with this frisky ale….it beckoned me like a slutty siren with its red bottle on the shelf….

Ill say this now….im a sucker for a red dress…this Rogue Brewery Ale got me.

I was expecting a punch in the mouth, fuck you, here’s drunkeness, here’s mayhem, and here’s a headache in the morning….since its the “double” version of its older brother, Dead Guy Ale. I am a good friend of this beer…a very good friend.

But what i got was a complex sweetheart. You know…that girl that may be NASTY on the outside….but man….shes all about just LOVING you.

The first pull off of this ales had an initially caramelly smack in the mouth with a finish that had notes of melon and tart citrus. But the best was the body in between…imagine both of those things with the taste of a mild baked bread in between.

See…i never expected it.

I never expected myself to want this beer the next time i had a spicy Thai dish, or even a pulled pork sandwich with extra Sriracha.

Though im not a huge fan of fruity complex beers, it helped convince me that not all girls in red dresses are dangerous.

My score – 91 out of 100.

Lobotomy Bock

They should have called this “haymaker”.

 

Weighing at 10.8% alcohol, this Indian Wells Brewing Company’s doppelbock (aka dobbelbock)  is a heavyweight. But dont let that make you think its a fat ass.

 

This beer is more of a hornet’s nest.

 

Its amazing notes of chocolate, coffee and roasted hazlenut make this beer easy to drink. Completely TOO easy to drink. Matter of fact, i had about 3, and tapped out for the night.

 

Maybe this helped the monks during lent. See, waay back in about the 17th century, it’s rumored that monks made beer in times of fasting to not only stay full, but probably put themselves out of their fucking misery for having to do such a stupid thing as not eat food.

 

Bock beer has a really high content of malts, making it dense, low carbonated and high in gravity. Doppelbock or, “double bock” is exactly what the namesake is….twice a bock. Since its mostly malt, ANY hop flavor is pretty much obscured by the malt notes.

 

As said before, Lobotomy Bock is no different, as there isnt a trace of hoppiness at all. 

 

I found this beer to be like cheating the system.

 

You think youre good then boom. Shit catches up to you.

 

I would not recommend this beer on an empty stomach like the monks used to….at least if you do, have some chips handy so that you dont start talking to your dog as if he was an English Professor.

 

Just…dont ask…ok?

 

I give this dangerous doppelbock an 84 out of 100.