Where TF? House of Shields

Every once in awhile, im going ot make a post of my favorite places to swill some suds. Granted, i know Yelp exists for that, but this is more of a tribute to the Bar Hall of Fame in my mind. Or in other words,

Where the Fuck is Mick Drinking.

taken from the House of Shields website

House of Shields is a San Francisco staple that opened just over 100 years ago in 1908, and continues to deliver some of the best times a Financial District happy hour can offer. Especially when you marry sassy bartendresses, heavy pours, cheap tabs and shots. Hoy.

Occasionally, they will feature live music, but if youve ever in the place, you know because of the size of the teeny upstairs, its more of a hearing performance than a seeing thing. Matter of fact, if you dont know a band is playing, you would think that they were playing live music over their music system.

Ive been going here for years, and have never had a bad time. Ive been over charged, undercharged and supercharged, through the best and worst times, but ive always walked away with a huge grin.

House of Shields is like a time machine for me….it takes me back to the Barbary Coast days, when the booze flowed as freely as the high-test blood in the denizens’ veins.

Stop by and remember one thing, if you get a shot of Fernet, offer one to the bartender.

Buck 8 Year Bourbon

My my….

What a little mystery you are, Buck. I received you as a gift from one of the members in my BABAC group (Bay Area Bourbon Aficionados Club) as a goodwill measure for missing my girlfriend’s karaoke party.

You follow?

Anyway, regardless of where this bourbon came from, i could find like NO information about it on the internet, short of “Hey, have you ever heard of Buck Bourbon?” or “Who has heard of Buck bourbon?” The picture you see is one i took in my own dining room. Why? I couldnt find a better one, er uhh…one at all, on the internet…..Its a weird one.

I cant figure it out….so bottle stats….bottle shape is akin to Four Roses…it states its 8 years old, 90 proof and some blah blah about ranch hands. I rarely pay attention to backstories on bourbon unless it has the words “Elmer T Lee” or “George T Stagg”….

My tasting notes….damn….not bad for a bourbon ive never heard of….strong buttery vanilla and a little nutiness….i take the first swig and i get hit with what reminds me of a SWEET Knob Creek. Its almost a little too sweet, but i think it just caught me off guard.

Weighing in at 90 proof, its surprisingly smooth, and tastes just as good on rocks as it does neat. The sweetness of it is at first, a little disconcerting, but it definitely aids in taking the edge off of the heat.

Im a bit surprised across the board on this little bourbon….especially where its from….SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA.

Yeah…this shit is made like a half an hour from my house. And i think its just fine.

I dont so much recommend this for a sipping bourbon, as its ok….but i think it would make a fine Manhattan or old-fashioned.

But i think that all around, if it were to enter the bourbon world, Buck is a great beginner to the other “big B names”.

My score is 84 out of 100 points.

Simpler Times Lager

Ahh Trader Joes….

I spend so much money there saving money…..make sense?

I go to TJ’s once a week and do a decent amount of food shopping on some basic stuff….i dig the frozen fish, their peanut butter, English Muffin bread, and well…their booze. I partake quite a bit in the Two Buck Chuck, (Charles Shaw wine, stay tuned for the review), as well as the devlishly perfect-for-the-price, $2.99 a sixer, Simpler Times Lager….

Clocking in at a pretty hefty 6.2% alkies, this beer is more than worth the low ass $3 splurge. And, it doesnt taste too shabby!

Its like George Foreman. It is what it is. A haymaker, a jab, a block. No mystery, no backstories. Its. Just. Beer.

Initially, you get the flavor of sweet corn with the wash of a….how do i say…..QUALITY Pabst Blue Ribbon. Imagine if Pabst Blue Ribbon received a Blue Ribbon in  taste….add a little salt, a little depth, and some sweetness to round its bitterness, and boom….youre in some Simpler Times.

Now keep in mind, it isnt genius taste-ification on the palate here.Its a 50 cent can of beer that doesnt fuck around. That’s it. It’s a brawler, it’s a cowboy, it’s an outlaw. It’s a kick in your balls by a drunken karate chimp….It’s some mutha fuggin Simpler Times.

I dare say that eventhough this is a seriously cheap, and nasty beer to some, its still hipster enough to bring to a BBQ or house party and people will be like….”Sweet….you brought some of The Times.”

This beer will be cool ONLY until the moment bartenders with whitebelts named Tyler are selling it for $3 EACH in the Mission. Until then, dear readers…..partake in some of the Simpler Times.

My score is 83 out of 100 points.

Budweiser Chelada

We all do dumb shit.

Some people drink Budweiser….some people drink Clamato. Some people add Clamato to Budweiser. And THAT insane, schizophrenic combination is actually manufactured and SOLD as a tall boy.

I took one sip and wanted to puke everything ive ever ingested in my, yours and my Aunt Ruth’s life.

This “beer” is completely unnecessary and wrong on every level possibly ever invented. There are suffering, depressed, broken alcoholics that would refuse this. And dont even get me started on its skinny cousin, Bud Light Chelada.

Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with people….it is bullshit like this that makes me lose faith in everything.

If you see this shit walking the streets…kill it with fire.

My score – 12 out of 100…..i have to give it credit for having the balls for thinking two wrongs make a right.

Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka

Let me tell you about danger.

The type of danger where you cant see the inevitability of it all happening in a negative way. Like, you have NO idea the train will hit you. You have NO idea that Ronnie Lott is about to tackle you. You have NO idea the friend you just made at the bar is the Zodiac Killer.

Like, you have NO idea how drunk you are because Firefly was so nice to create such a refreshing drink.

Its the new thing in the booze world…sweet tea vodka. Completely mixable, or completely satisfying straight. Personally, i preferred it on ice, mixed 50/50 with some tart Santa Cruz lemonade. Some would call it a drunken Arnold Palmer.

I call it the John Daly.

In theory, it sounds like alot of these fruity, “any-flavor” vodkas on the market today. Which is fine for some. But to drink “Grape Vodka” sounds as appealing as pounding an OJ after brushing my teeth. But Firefly makes an exception. The tea is a high quality tea that is grown in the Carolinas just 4 miles from the distillery, and not flavoring. The sugar in the “sweet” part is PURE Louisiana cane sugar….not corn syrup. And the vodka…..80 proof.

Having such a delicious freshing beverage, on a hot day, with a burger in hand, man….you get about 4 of these in your system, and POW. The 80 proof catches up.

Dangerous.

Im happy i made the discovery, and its a great drink…..just be very careful.

This tea will smack you like a donkey kick.

My score – 89 out of 100.